Memoirs of two hearts..

I set out tonight to find her. I have been desperately fighting her thoughts in my head. My heart has been aching to be with her. I can't hold back my feelings anymore. Tonight I went out to look for her.

And there as I have hoped, I saw her in that place by the park where we used to sit. She was there all alone. I want to think that she has been waiting for me like she expects me to be there.

As I drew near, my feet slow down. I walked softly towards her and sat by her side.

I called out her name like something of a whisper.

Emotions came rushing and unspoken thoughts were said. Things that were left hanging two weeks ago were clarified.

I still love her. I won't bulge in in her life again if I don't care. I really missed her a lot. I really care for her a lot. She was my first priority----my everything.

I looked for her to tell her these things. All she said was that it's okay. But I know it's not. We sat there in awkward silence as the night drifts.

I want to hold her hand so badly but I remembered I have no right to hold it again now. I asked her if I can. She reached out her hands to me. She was even caressing my back. She wiped my tears as they fell. Her voice was soothing me.

She stood up later and insisted on going home. But I insisted to be left behind. I want to spend my time sunk in my own misery outside in this cold night.

Again, I watched her walking away just like yesterday.

Why are you letting her slipped away just like that?

I lost all courage.

I felt a twinge in my heart consuming me. And it pains me to know that, that might be last time I will ever get to hold those hands..